Purpose of Hard hats: Cover your head from getting hurt
Purpose of Cowboy hats: Tell people you like country
Purpose of Beanies: Cover your ears from getting cold
Purpose of Sun hats: Cover your face from getting sunburned
Purpose of Crowns: Tell people you are in charge here
Purpose of Party hats: Feel awkward wearing it, and get choked by the string
Purpose of Berets: Feel French and classy
Purpose of Fedoras: Feel like Michael Jackson
Purpose of Tin foil hats: Cover your brain from being controlled by aliens
